estoy arrecha, cariño

:)

Current Mood: bouncy

So... now you can get Amber Alerts right on your cell phone. We are so fucked up, man. Those things are nothing more than a country's intrusive (not to mention morbid) fixation on the suffering of others.

Be afraid, nation, someone has kidnapped a cute white child in a city that has nothing geographically in common with yours.

Current Mood: cynical

Ugh. I am having a very difficult time with this damned essay. It's not so much that I don't care about social security privatization/campaign finance reform; they are economic issues and I haven't quite figured out where I stand within that section of the political spectrum. Perhaps that's why I'm so excited about Econ as a major. If I learn enough about it, maybe I'll finally have the answers. See, I understand why Liberals want everyone to have equality of opportunity, and I find that important, because if you have the means to help people, then you should. Because everybody deserves kindness. On the other hand, every time I take a decidedly liberal stance on an issue, I feel like I'm going soft. I become a little bit softer with every new fact I learn about the world because I want to fix it. I don't want my mom to hurt, I don't want Amanda to hurt, I don't want anybody to hurt. But I don't want to be a sucker. God, I'm so scared of that. I want to be logical, not emotional, because no matter how well-intentioned emotional people are, they muck things up. It's very important that I can be able to form a coherant, concise argument and support it with facts because facts can convince anybody (except Non-denominational Christians) and I like that. So, money, yeah. Fuck that shit.

In unrelated news, I hope it keeps thunderstorming until I go to bed. Because that would make me treemendously happy. Okay, so maybe that's not all that unrelated.

Current Mood: numb

...and that's when i shot them.

Current Mood: aggravated

I called my brother today. I should do that more often. I should stay connected. I have a habit of losing people when I don't check on them every once in awhile.

In related news, I feel awful. Apparently Mother has been more unmanagable than ever since I've left home this year. She's unhappy. This is her natural state. It is not my fault that I'm living my life the way I want it to be. It is not my fault that I'm her only friend. Yeah. Telling myself all that doesn't work, and neither does typing it out.

Hooray for the Bucks and Irish, though. Boo to the Golden Dragon.

Current Mood: discontent

I told mother that I was thinking about moving off campus next year. Her reaction was pretty much the same as the time I told her that I was dating a Jehovah's Witness. I.e. she flipped the fuck out. And I think that as I became more diplomatic to her objections she grew exponentially more pissed off. My mother is the reverse of everything times ten. Funny thing is that I'm now even more resolute about moving off campus. Experience dictates that the opposite should be true, since she can bully me into just about anything. I think the fact that she basically screamed at me for voicing an idea that "I had been kinda thinking about for awhile and was looking for [her] input on" pretty much lost that argument for her. She thinks that I'm as afraid of life as she is and I'm not. She hung up while I was saying "I love you." I don't think I'm the person in this situation who should be treated like a child.

Current Mood: cranky

So... definitely had an underwear party last night. With my two roomates. Nice. Everything you've ever heard about a women's college is true.

But seriously. Richard E. Grant; tall, skinny and weird. Where has he been all my life?

Current Mood: groggy

I bought fabric! I'm taking Book Arts/Artist's Books, which is essentially hardcore scrapbooking. Hells yeah!

And I love Econ. Or specifically, Macroeconomics. I hope everyone has moments where they take two separate pieces of information and formulate their connection. I especially hope that those moments are ones where you hear choirs of angels and see light from heaven. That's how it is for me all the time in econ. I get this wonderful sense of accomplishment while working. Hoo rah.

However, boo to my new extention cord which does not have a slot for the third bar. I have many appliances and require my spike bar.

So... econ, poli-sci, or art? Hmm... I'm beginning to really like the concept of a student designed major. Yes sir. In other news, I am an island of (relative) sanity in a sea of crazies. Like whoa. When one's not crying, then there's another one taking her clothes off. Or another one whining shrilly about how she can't find the names of the real von Trapp family. I love them.

Current Mood: contemplative

I spent the weekend up in Marblehead.  It was mostly marvelous.  I say "mostly" because it began with a car trip that involved a (an?) hungover uncle, a lit cigarette, and a full gas can all together in the back seat.  And then I crashed a golf cart.  But I do love it up there.  If I ever make money (a situation that seems quite unlikely) I will buy a sailboat.  Aunt Jan and Uncle Skip (i couldn't make those up if i tried) have a power boat, but I saw quite a few sails on the lake and I must conclude that I love them much.  Knife-white silhouettes slicing through choppy waters.  Plus beach!  And work was cancelled today on account of rain.  Just two more days left.  

I'm pretty sure it's gonna be one of those situations where I get all excited and then spend a significant amount of time groaning about it once it gets started.  I think about what I was going through this time last year and I feel nostalgic and wiser, and at the same time not one bit different.  I've got a little more purpose but not an ounce more presence.  I still feel stupid and clumsy in public.  I've got a feeling I'm gonna get somewhere this year, but I think that every year and you know what?  All those stories that seemed so novel ("Ha ha, this drunk guy just hit on me!  OMG!  I just got my first 3 AM booty call!) are incredibly uninteresting.  After one year of college I think I have fewer genuine friends than I'd had before I started, and I really can't remember anything I learned in class.  While riding the boat (going about 40 mph) in for the last time yesterday afternoon, I had the strongest urge to take a running leap off the stern.  I didn't, because I wasn't wearing a lifejacket at the time, figured my aunt and uncle would think I was nuts, and also because the vastness of the sky against the water scares the hell out of me sometimes.  I think I should have.  I think I should jump off the stern much more often than I do.

Current Mood: introspective

You know, you never really consider how many calories you take in while you're eating something.  Like right now, I'm eating a salad.  All the lettuce is gone at this point, and only the bacon bits and cheese are left.  I'm holding some cheese in between my fingers.  Now, I know that cheese is rather fatty (or can be) and I wonder how much my pinch of cheese is worth, calorically speaking.  Hmm...  I've eaten it.  I certainly didn't feel the calories go down, though I certainly felt the cheese on account of the little bits of bacon sticking to it, and consequently sticking to the back of my throat.  Must just be a little bit then.  One ought to be able to feel the calories accumulate.  I feel as if that should be a separate sensation.  But then again, I've been told (on occasion, and not in so many words) that I am an odd bird.

One more week and than vacation!  For two days.  Whoo.  And then 5 days after that and I go back to school.  Not gonna lie, I'm ready.  This summer sucked, though I accomplished much in the vein of nerd-dom.  I read more books than I had in AP English, for example, as well as devoted a ridiculous amount of time teaching myself to make livejournal icons  And I learned oragami.  Best of the bunch: The Curious Incident of the Dog in Nighttime and Blink.  But boo to Return of the Native.  Just... dull.  I still plan to read Tristram Shandy (or at least start it).  I was very charmed by the film.  Or at least by Steve Coogan.

Anyway, SG1 and Atlantis must have finished downloading by now, so I'm off.

Current Mood: recumbent

It's been awhile since I posted. I've abandoned the xanga, more or less officially. I still obsessively check it, on account of needing to know what everyone is doing. At. All. Times. Yet I had friends there, and thus far I have gained very few here, so I must admit that I find constant updating rather unrewarding. On the other hand, how can I expect to make friends if I don't make the effort? Question of my life.

Totally pwned mom the other day. In an argument! About politics! And religion! It was about this evangelical pastor who publically refused, in front of his congregation of 5000+, to use his pulpit (or even his church) to promote his or anyone else's politics. About 1000 of his... followers (would that be the right word? parishoners would be for us, but I that's just for us papists) left and never came back. Anyway, mother brings it up and starts talking. I'll admit it, I didn't exactly know she was going to criticize the guy when I started in with my argument, but she did hella shut the hell up right after I said: 
Oh come on. This guy wrote books about how he felt that religion and politics shouldn't mix. What were these 1000 people expecting. Besides, 4000 other people stayed. Obviously he wasn't that out of touch with his flock.

I think I should be issued props for attempting IRE format there.  I haven't quite mastered livejournal formatting.

How ( fun )

Okay, tag totally written before I really took a look at the films they list. Kind of hoping for more of a range. Eh. I keep reminding myself that taste is subjective, but I always end up forgetting.

Current Mood: amused

Hoo yay. Last night was most definitely the best of the summer, though the BC today kinda killed the good feeling. I always feel incredibly drained after work, even to the point of loss of personality. To remedy this I plan on getting Dale to buy me some Dairy Queen. Caramel Chip Cheesequake Blizzard = love.

It was fantastic seeing Crystal and Paul again, and meeting new people, and engaging in cuddle parties, and exploring my tolerance limit. I so rarely get to cut loose like that. Actually, that is a lie. I certainly could cut loose like that whenever I wanted, but yeah. Death/rape/court costs/not getting to go to India (see icon. India = love squared. Well, for me. Not necessarily for Pakistan.) are powerful deterrents. I guess I'm finished here. There was a little bit of something, some mood that took hold after we all started crawling into our own little nooks in the wee hours of the morning. I felt almost painfully typical, in relation to myself. Typical for me, I mean. Gosh. I dunno. I'm very deliberatly lonely, and last night I realized this. Bah. The whole experience was wonderful, needed, discouraging and lovely. Oh, and I had strange dreams about groping and being groped, which really isn't at all surprising.

Current Mood: blah

It's lovely having a Saturday off, even when it's ripe with passive aggression and excessive dorkiness. Oh! And fashion. I went on a bit of a spree at delias.com, a retail venue that I haven't shopped since my early teens. But I got a tank top with little owls on it! And a ruffle-chest shirt, with a ribbon under the boobs! And a Lorax T! Which is by far the best of the bundle, even though the design itself is a bit of an eyesore. I think the shirt features every page of the book.

The dorkiness from today is really just a run off from yesterday. I stayed up till 2 AM to read The Kite Runner, and then today watched the Stargate and Atlantis premiers, courtesy of bittorrent(=love). I also watched some classic Who (Castrovalva!)and came to the conclusion that Nyssa is made of wood, though I really have nothing against her beyond that. And then I made an iFandom icon for POTC. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. If you don't, consider yourself blessed with taste and prudence.

As for the passive aggression... eh, it's debatable whether any of that actually occurred. I'm still not okay with the situation that I went off about earlier, but whatev. I'll deal.

Current Mood: satisfied

I saw Dead Man's Chest again today, with Father this time. Oh Dale. He never sees movies in theatres. I think it's the sitting still. He gets antsy. I actually enjoyed it more this time around, perhaps because Father's joy is infectious.

I prepped for the second viewing by making icons all afternoon. So ( click this for low-brow humor and some pretty )

Current Mood: accomplished

( oh yeah, and here's the Whostuff )